Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Philippine Recap

But before I get to all that, today I got my first red envelope!  And keys to work!  And tutoring cancelled! And Paul's going to tap his beer!   OMG a totally great day.

Back to Manila.  As we're waiting to board we start talking to the nice couple again.  Turns out Lauren (good name) and Ed are English teachers in rural podunk China.  They hadn't booked a hotel and we told them we had reservations at Banwa, so they came along.  Then in the AM we all took a van up to Ed Nido.  Banwa was cute enough, but the town pretty lacking.  In retrospect the smart thing would have been to book it the 5 hours in the van right after getting off the plane.  Better to get all the traveling done in one day than drag it out over two.  Ohh and was that a fun bus ride.  There were 14 passengers so as you can imagine leg room was limited.  And guess who was lucky enough to score a seat in the back row?!  That's right, these kids.  We would hit a bump and the people in front wouldn't feel it, while we're protecting our heads from the ceiling.  And then we got to the dirt roads.  A car would come by in the opposite direction stirring up a dirt tornado.  But no, our driver didn't care he couldn't see, he'd just push that pedal down harder.  Oh the pummel of rocks!  There were several minutes where Paul shielded my eyes from the horror.  But we made it.  In no less than 6 hours because every 10 minutes the driver would a) pull over to pee or b) get out and make sure our tires hadn't exploded.

So CNY is a Chinese holiday, not a Filipino one, so Paul and I figured the place would be deserted.  Wrong.  It's actually the busiest tourist week of the year.  Obviously we had no hotel, no iphone, and no plan, so we spent a solid 45 minutes going from shit hotel to nice hotel to super fancy nice hotel, all to the same response, "full."  We even went to an office and inquired about a resort on a private island.  The guy told us about all of the amenities blah blah and then told us ~$550/night.  At this point we're desperate and say fine!  He makes a call.  "Sorry, full."  You mean we spent the last 20 minutes rationalizing to ourselves that we deserve a 5 star hotel, even when we don't have 5 star jobs, and now you're going to take it away!?  What a cruel cruel man.  Finally someone in a similar situation pointed us in the right direction and we found a perfectly cute hotel on the beach.  But only for two days and then we would have to move on.

By the time this all settles down, we have a San Miguel (Lite!!!) and watch the sunset.  Head to dinner where I had squid (and every following meal possible) and we ran into our new buddies Lauren an Ed! They're super fun and we spent the whole night sipping rhum cocktails at our hotel watching as the calm sea turned into a violent attack on our short beach.

Full Day 1 and we wake up at the crack of dawn (8!) to go island hopping because that's what you do in El Nido.  It is quite possibly the most beautiful beach I have ever seen.  Beautiful white sand, sapphire blue ocean, and rocky cliff islands that jut out all along the horizon.  We first hopped to secret beach where you have to swim underwater through a hole to get to the isolated beach.  Rumor is it's where the inspiration for The Beach came from.  I'm a bit skeptical and think that's a marketing tool used for every island in the Philippines and Thailand.  Regardless, it was cool.  Then we hopped to what I call Triceratops Island where we snorkeled over the reef.  We saw fluorescent blue starfish, day glow stripey fish, Nemo!, and all sorts of interesting underwater craziness.  Island 3 was lunch island.  Just a beautiful white sand beach where we relaxed as the boat crew grilled fish and chicken.  Yum.  Oh I should mention there were other people on this boat.  The blackest man I have ever seen who is currently a teacher in rural Korea.  I can't even imagine the looks and stares this guy gets!  2 Spanish guys, and a mother, daughter son from Canada but were Filipino.  By the end of the day everyone totally bonded.  Hop 4 to an island with an abandoned resort.  It was cool to climb around inside and see all the leftover beds and mirrors and stuff, and finally when we'd had just about enough of island hopping we hit Helicopter Island.  It was shady and you had to swim to the beach, so 90% of our boat just stayed and waited til was time to go home.  Despite how hot it probably was.  By the end of the day getting a little pink and being on the open water got cold.  But I guess I'm always cold.  Post boating met Lauren and Ed again for dinner and drinks.  While waiting an hour and a half for dinner to come (it's island time baby) Lauren and Ed ran into two guys they had met in their random podunk town China a month ago! Weird!  We all hung out, but after all the hopping, we were beat.

Full Day 2 up again at dawn (7!) to go SCUBA diving!!!!  I hadn't been in 10, ew how old that makes me feel, years.  Paul had never been.   It was pretty spectacular.  We signed up for 2 dives each, and everyone else on our boat was pretty experienced so they all did 3.  We were all broken into groups (Paul and I being the lowest level) with our own guides.  Ours was awesome.  Super spunky and excited about life.  He was a cook for 15 years working 20 hours days, and I guess saved up enough money to become a dive master.  He was clearly enjoying life.  The dive was awesome.  Saw tons of fish and a sea turtle!!!!  And found Nemo again, and his whole family.  Territorial little guys they are.  They charge when you go near their coral!!  But by the end of the hour, my 2 size too big wet suit was failing at keeping the heat in, and I was cold.  My allergies had kind of been acting up and my ears were making weird noises, so I opted out of dive 2 to sit in the sun.  Dive 2 looked a lot cooler than the first one.  We parked the boat alongside a cliff island and the divers swam around the base.  Everyone agreed it was the best dive of the day.  I was happy to sit in the sun thank you very much.  Again we pull up to a deserted beach where we have a private, awesome, lunch.  Then out to dive 3.  Paul and I snorkeled through the jellyfish, saw a sting ray and another turtle, then retired from the ocean upon our private boat.  Oh private except for the young Chinese girl who came with her MUCH older Greek boyfriend.  While he was out SCUBAing, one of the boat guys would pull this woman around in the lifesaver, while she wore a life vest and screamed in fear!  haha so Chinese.  When she finally felt a little comfortable he would tie her to one of the balancers and leave her to float while he snorkeled.  soooo Asian.  Our dive master told us ridiculous stories about how these Chinese tourists would come and go SCUBA but couldn't swim.  Why would you do that!?  WHY!??  Even in India all of our guides would say how much they loved Western tourists, 'but not those Chinese.'  I think 90% of it is a language barrier, but I digress.

Post scuba we were treated to drinks at the dive shop, then we were off to meet Lauren and Ed and 2 other dude (Tim and Matt) for dinner and drinks again.  Night life in El Nido isn't crazy, as it's probably just too small, but I think that's a good thing.  We spent each night mixing a couple mango cocktails on the beach and calling it a night. Does it get any better!?  Day 3 move hotels to where Lauren and Ed are staying down the street.  I should mention El Nido at it's peak is still empty.  We'd go to the beach, any time of day, and there would never be more than 4 people out.  Where are they hiding?  Island hopping I suppose.  We spent the day loafing on the beach.  Sipping mango smoothies and cocktails, and of course, met Lauren, Ed, Tim and Matt for dinner and drinks.  It's so much fun to have vacation friends! While on a beach stroll we discovered the Mecca of Ed Nido; the Cadloa Resort.  Private bungalows, bikes, hammocks, bean bags, private restaurant, and it's only a month old!  Jackpot.  They just so happened to have one room available on our last night, so we booked it over early in the AM to maximize our resort time.  The entire time Paul and I spent having this conversation,

"This is awesome."
"This is what a vacation should be."
"Why didn't we find this earlier."
"I LOVE this place."

So although we didn't get to see our new friends on our last day, we enjoyed totally relaxing and absorbing all that is resort life.  Hot water.  24 hour electricity (let me tell you, this is a novelty!).  Service hand and foot.  Clean, really clean, rooms.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

BUT of course we had to wake up at stupid 4 am to van 5 hours back down to Puerto Princesa, grab lunch, fly an hour to Manila, have Kenny Rogers Roasters, fly 2 hours while Paul fought food poisoning from said KRR, then taxi it to make it home by 10pm the very same day.

I appologize, this seems was all quite rushed.  Trust me, I would have done a much better job of telling our tales if I could had done it all along the way, but I didn't, so you're stuck with this.  To sum it all up, it's a beautiful place, with beautiful beaches, fun activities, and reasonably easy (hey I was in India all summer) to get to, so CHECK.  Been there done that.  Bring on Bora Bora....

Monday, January 30, 2012

Chinese New Year

No one really celebrates Christmas here.  The extent of it is going out to dinner.  The biggest holiday in Asia is for sure Chinese New Year.  So a quick intro on the celebration practices during CNY.

Families all get together and have a huge dinner.  Or several as it's a three day holiday.  Married people hand out red envelopes to those non-married (usually younger).  Red envelopes are filled with cash.  One bill per envelope.  Several envelopes per person.  A nice little system don't you think?

Seeing as I work with 3 people, all of which are foreigners, I got zero red envelopes despite my non-married status.  Paul, however, works at a kindergarten and got loads of envelopes.  Check out the take!
Plethora of RED
Cash for nothing?  No problem!

Don't Worry

I have heard some general concern recently about my whereabouts due to the lack of posts.  Sorry, it was impolite of me to check in!  I should have at least put a little 'I'm still alive' in there.  Paul and I made a very difficult decision and opted to leave our beloved iphones at home, so really we had no choice.  I swear.
 
But alas, my hiatus is over, much to my tanned self's sadness.  So let me tell you a little about where we have been hiding this past week.   Paul and I took our favorite 5 am airport shuttle, enjoyed some 6 am breakfast beers, and napped on the two hour flight to Manila.  Manila, as I have experienced first hand two years ago, is a total shit hole.  We had a five hour layover and decided to skip the shit and chill at the airport.  Well let me tell you, Manila airport for as much as it sucked 2 years ago, has totally cleaned its act up.  Does anyone remember my sad story about almost having to pan handle my way out of the Philippines all those 2 years ago?  Well as a refresher, this crap little airport charges you 750 pesos (~$18) as an exit tariff.  No one told me this and I had zero pesos and zero access to pesos.  Finally aircrapphilippine "loaned" me the money.  I have yet to repay.  ANYWAY, point of the story, this money has actually been reinvested into improving the airport!  Weird!  There are tons of eatery choices, but the Americans in us could not avoid the pull of the Gambler.  Kenny Rogers Roasters.  Asa.

So we had our fun eating this "healthy" food that had this strange glossy sheen to it, and still had some time to kill.  Airport Massages!! An hour later and twas already time to check in and board.  While in line we met the nicest couple.  We shared a few words about Palawan and bade each other good bye.

Sorry my friends, Paul has just arrived home from work and tutoring so it's time for Californication and a glass of Sauv Blanc (a new favorite).  I know the suspense of WHAT we did on vacation is killing you, but I promise, I will fill in the holes tomorrow.  Good evening.  

Sunday, January 29, 2012

We're Baaaack

After planes, buses, vans, boats, tricycles, fins n swims, taxis and lord knows what else, we have made it to the Philippines and back in one piece.  Well two if you count Paul and me.  Full account coming tomorrow, but for now all I can say is that we had an amazing time, got amazing (ha) tans, stayed at an amazing resort, and saw one of the most amazingly beautiful places on this Earth.  In summary, amazing.


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Too cute not to share

This is from Paul's Chinese New Year party at school today.

Kung Hei Fat Choy!

A Typical Wednesday in the HK Speedway

Whilst walking home from work today--paying more attention to my iphone than the path ahead of me--I was very nearly struck by a truck in the crosswalk.  I suddenly realized that HK is one of the worst places for pedestrians.  The labyrinth of high fences surrounding every street in Kowloon give some warning of this danger but it takes a few months to realize just how perilous cultural norms make walking in HK.  Not long after my near run in I was walking by a basketball court when a souped-up Honda straight from the set of Fastest Furiest sped by me and honked (not slowed) as it neared a group of children walking across the road.  The children did not seem the least bit surprised by this fast-approaching ton of machinery; they had timed their steady trajectory to reach the other end of the street.  The whole scene passed in few seconds of disquieting clockwork.  Cars simply do not find it necessary to slow for pedestrians.  Lauren has sought to change this trend by staging a mini Tiananmen Square protest, marching across momentary crosswalks to the chagrin of onlookers and displeasure of oncoming motorists; yet I doubt such brave actions will result in any lasting change.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

A Day In the Life

Of yours truly.  I know you're all at home wondering 'what does Lauren do all day?'  So here it is, a run down of my Tuesday, which was quite typical of the nonsense that endure everyday.  Except with one twist, I got paid!!!!!!!!!!!!  My first paycheck (read cash) since BHive.  Woot.

Wake up begrudgingly at 7:30 when Mr. Paul gets out of the shower.  We walk together to school, I run 3k home, shower and eat breakfast.  My commute takes me all of 18 minutes door to door, counting waiting for the bus, and I arrive at HOFW just in time to get a text from Greg.  "I've gone for a shower."  Well, that's nice and all but it's locked and I don't have a key.  "Go have a coffee and come back in 30."  I go have a coffee and come back in 30.  Greg's not there but the delivery man is with 2 palates (that's a shit ton) of wine gift boxes.  Text Greg again.  "Ok I'll hurry back."  The delivery man, who speaks zero English, and I spend an awkward 15 minutes where I try to explain my boss is hurrying back, and he gesticulates his annoyance.  Finally we're in and the day begins.  Greg frantically runs around moving cases of wine, while I try to catch up on emails, input yesterday's expenses and invoices, all the while Lionel and Nana show up.  Lionel helps with organzing our surplus of stock, Nana replaces stickers on foie gras and as I'm doing my computer stuff, I take whatever Greg throws my way.  New invoice?  Sure.  Email a retail price sheet to these people?  I'll get right on it.  Fold and stuff 30 envelopes?  Already done. I literally have my hands in all aspects of the business.  Be it stacking (although this is usually left to the men folk), invoicing, answering phones emails, making truffle/foie gras crackers....I've touched it all. 

And on and on, until Sean arrives and then things get totally nutty.  Greg, Lionel and Sean scurry around our small showroom trying to get all of the deliveries ready to go out, while I'm in the office making sure the invoices are correct and up to date, and try to figure out who owes us how much.  By 2 or 3 when the boys head out to deliver, I finally have a moment to eat while sending out more emails.

Then we have our visitors.  Delivery guys stop in looing for documents.  Their friends stop in looking for wines to bring to China.  A shop owner stops in interested in our gourmet foods.  It's quite action packed I tell ya.

As things start slowing down, and the visitors begin to dissipate, we\(Greg) get a call from the truffle lady in Italy.  Greg's trying to negotiate a marketing budget, and she's trying to understand what's going on via a translator.  I listen on, totally absorbed in the transaction, but alas tis 6:30 and I need to get home to tutor.  I grab a couple of unfinished bottles from yesterday's impromptu tasting, bus it, eat my dinner standing in the kitchen with P, then head down stairs to tutor Nim Nim.

Yes, that apparently IS her name.  She is 3 years old and wants nothing to do with the one hour teaching a week  I prepare.  It's actually become a tag-team activity.  I sit in the mini chair on the floor with a book open, she runs while her JeJe (nanny) blocks the door and her grandmother scoups her up and brings her back to her chair.  This goes on a solid 30 minutes until Mom comes home.  Then she sits on Mom's lap, equally as uninterested in me as before, while Mom and I try to read some stories to her and get her engaged.  She's not, but the hour is up and I collect my money and head 12 floors back upstairs to sip my day old left over wine and write to you. 

Twas a pretty asa day. 

The End.